I ate too many SweetTarts this weekend, and now I’m sick. Blah. I’ve been warding this off for two weeks now, and I was almost in the clear, but then I had to succumb to the allure of the SweetTart. The purple ones are my downfall – that is to say, I have to work my way through the other ones to get to the purple ones. I’m forty-two years old, for crying out loud. I ought to know better by now. It’s absurd.
My glands are S-W-O-L-L-E-N. My throat is sore. At the top, toward the back. You know, when you know you have to swallow. You don’t want drool slipping out of the corners of your mouth, but you put it off, avoid it until the last possible moment, and then your mouth is completely full, and it’s either swallow or drool. OUCH! It feels like there’s a knife cutting into the back of my throat. Also, my head is pounding and my body aches. My body feels puffy and swollen and tender. (This is kind of weird, but that part feels almost good. Like I’m more intimately in touch with my body). Water soothes my throat, but it’s too cold. It’s not actually cold, just cool, but it FEELS cold in my mouth and throat, and going down, I can feel it in my chest too. I should stop writing now, surely NO ONE is still reading this post. UGH!
I like to moan. And whine. Seriously. Out loud. It makes me feel better to vocalize my misery. Of course it’s not very loud. Maybe more like a whiny, moaning whimper. But seriously, if you’re sick sometime, try it. It’s like you’re letting the icky out. Mmmmm …eeee. oooooohhhhh. aehhhh. aaaaaa. These are some of the sounds. Wait, maybe I can record myself. That’ll be better. Here, I’ll try.
Well, that was a bust. I tried but I can’t figure it out. I suck. aehhhhhhhhh.
I’m watching Martha Stewart. I love her. She’s so clever. I wish I could keep my life so organized. I bet when she’s sick she has all her stuff laid out in an organized way. She probably has a “sick” tray all ready to go. Vicks Vaporub. kleenex. ibuprofen. chicken soup. (Oh crap, Martha’s over and the Walton’s are on. Time to change the channel. Look John Boy, it’s a daredevil standing on the wing of his plane. Neato). What else would she have that I should have? I don’t know. I’m sick. Blah.