I’m sorry, WHAT?

  • Vini:  “Hey, you’re snoring!”
  • Me:  “I am?”
  • V:  “Yeah.”
  • M: “Real loud, or quietly?”
  • V:  “Real loud.”
  • M: “Like how loud? Snore for me like I was snoring.”
  • V:   “Zzzzzzzz.” (disclaimer: not the sound of real snoring).
  • M: “That’s not loud!”
Seriously. It wasn’t loud at all! Not even 5 out of 10 on the  “My husband, Vini’s, snoring volume” scale.

I’m currently sick. Blah. Erin knows. She read my last post. (Shout out to Erin – woot woot!).  So, APPARENTLY, last night (surely because I am ill), I was gently snoring. Delicately. Snoring with grace. Like the whisper of a light breeze.

The thing is. MY HUSBAND SNORES. Did I mention that? I believe I said something to my husband last night along the lines of, “yeah, sixteen years, honey. It sucks, don’t it.” The thing is. My husband gets MAD at me when I wake him up in the middle of the night and say, “Honey, turn over. You’re snoring.”

So he woke me up maybe three more times. One time he said something like, (more like shouted!), “Hey, you’re laying on your back! You’re not supposed to lay on your back!” Then close to the morning he said, and I quote, “Thanks A LOT. I got practically NO SLEEP AT ALL last night. I hope you’re happy.”

Then I said: “Yes. Yes I am happy! Hah! Take that! After sixteen years of listening to you snore night after night. After sixteen years of waking you up OVER and OVER again, telling you to turn over and stop snoring. After sixteen years of laying there, wide awake half the time, listening to you snore. Again. And again. And again. And finally, FINALLY. ONE NIGHT. I finally get sick, and keep you up all night with my snoring. OF COURSE I’M HAPPY!”

Alright, fine. That’s not what I said. I believe what I said was, “Sorry honey, I’ll sleep on the couch until I’m over my cold.”


About LeilaPiazza

I am a wife and mother. I am an Orthodox Christian. I am a Syrian American with family living in Syria. I am a also a yoga teacher and freelance writer. I recently described myself in a job pitch as "a person who's lived in Portland, Oregon for over 20 years with a passion for writing and a passion for all things Portland. I'm a foodie, knitter, wine and beer lover, bee-keeper (yep, I said it), mead and fruit-liqueur maker, organic gardener, home-canner, hiker, biker, runner, and occasional skinny-dipper. I’ve camped all over the state, I sail a sailboat that’s moored on the Columbia (o.k., I'm the first mate), and I spend a large percentage of my time at our beach house in Seaside." That about sums it up.
This entry was posted in marriage, stuff I like/stuff I don't like and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to I’m sorry, WHAT?

  1. Leila says:

    And I have. Two nights and counting.


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